Gay and Christian (1)

Jonny Masters
3 min readFeb 21, 2022

“Mum? Dad? How do I become a Christian?”

The question of a four year old in an evangelical Christian home.

Faith has always been incredibly important to me. It is the foundation of my identity, a compass for my choices and my reason for persevering. My faith, more than anything, defines me. In the evangelical tradition sexuality was a taboo subject when I was growing up. All I ‘knew’ was that homosexuality was wrong, and it was assumed knowledge that people from broken homes or who had an abusive upbringing might ‘choose’ to be gay. Children in Christian homes would never ‘choose’ to be gay.

Given all of that, I guess it isn’t a surprise I didn’t acknowledge or accept my gayness until I was 23. For years I denied to myself that I quite liked looking at other guys and that I found the female form to be uninteresting; something definitely not to be touched. I thought the desire to look and touch and fall in love with the female form would arrive. I was sure when I was 13 and my Dad asked me if there were any girls I liked that soon enough there would be. But I didn’t say that. I just chose one who I thought had nice hair and was extremely bright, and named her. He didn’t know any of them anyway. I think I spoke to her three times in the whole of High School. Not just because of shyness (though I guess being an introvert played a part), but lack of interest too.

The brokenness associated with gay people in my faith tradition meant I didn’t know what to do once I accepted my sexuality. Should I tell…

--

--

Jonny Masters

Editor of Poetry Playground. I write poetry and stories with themes such as pets, tourism, humour and politics. I also write about being gay and Christian.